My daughter Lucia is 14. She is vibrant, funny, deeply intuitive and fiercely herself.
She also moves through the world with a beautifully unique nervous system — one that can become easily overwhelmed by everyday demands, transitions, noise and unpredictability.
Over the years, parenting Lucia has taught me more about the nervous system, safety and co-regulation than any textbook ever could. It has also profoundly shaped the way I work as a therapeutic yoga practitioner, supporting children, families and adults to feel more safe, connected and at ease in their bodies.
That is where this work begins:
Lucia is autistic and also has global developmental delay, which means her communication, cognition and physical development have unfolded at their own pace. She also has a profile known as PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)— a presentation rooted not in defiance, but in a nervous system that is constantly scanning for safety.
For children with PDA, even the simplest requests, put your shoes on, come to the table, let’s leave the house
can feel overwhelming or even threatening to the body.
Lucia was pre-verbal until the age of 10, and when she is dysregulated now, words often disappear again. Eye contact goes. Communication shuts down. Her body begins to speak instead.
Sometimes that looks like screaming, self-injury, grabbing, collapsing or resistance. These are not “bad behaviours.” They are signs of a nervous system in overwhelm.
Living in Fight or Flight
For a long time, I didn’t realise how impacted my own nervous system had become.
I was a yoga teacher. I had tools.
But I was also Lucia’s mum, her primary carer, and much of my day was spent bracing for the next rupture, the next transition, the next moment things might tip.
My breath was shallow. My jaw was tight. My heart raced before we had even left the house. I thought I was failing. But what I now understand is this:
I was dysregulated too.
And when you are parenting a child with a highly sensitive or easily overwhelmed nervous system, this can quietly become your baseline without you even realising it.
That is why this work matters so deeply.
Discovering Special Yoga
Around 12 years ago, everything shifted when I trained as a Special Yoga Practitioner.
Special Yoga is an inclusive, therapeutic approach that uses breath, movement, rhythm, sound and relaxation practices to support regulation, communication and connection for children and adults with additional needs.
What Is Co-Regulation, Really?
Co-regulation is the science of how our nervous systems communicate with one another.
When a child is dysregulated, a calm and regulated adult can help guide their system back towards safety — not through logic, correction or “saying the right thing”, but through presence.
Through:
tone of voice
facial expression
pace
breath
touch
energetic steadiness
This is possible because our nervous systems are constantly reading one another through something called neuroception, he subconscious detection of safety or threat. Which means:
when a child is in full overwhelm, no script or strategy will land first.
What lands first is safety. A calm body. A soft breath. A grounded presence they can borrow from.
The Breath That Changed Everything
Coherent Breathing.
This is a simple, science-backed breathing practice that helps bring the autonomic nervous system back towards balance by slowing the breath into a gentle, steady rhythm.
It is not about taking big dramatic breaths or “trying to calm down”.
It is about signalling safety to the body.
Over time, this practice has become one of the anchors in our home — a quiet ritual that supports both of our nervous systems when things begin to feel too much.
It is also something I teach in my 1:1 sessions, workshops and Special Yoga Teacher Training, because it is one of the most effective and accessible tools I know.
This Work Is Sacred
This Work Is Sacred
Parenting Lucia has been one of the most profound invitations of my life — not to change her, but to meet her exactly where she is.
And in order to do that, I have had to learn how to meet myself too.
Through Special Yoga, breath, rhythm, sound, nervous system education and self-compassion, I’ve come to understand something I now return to every day:
This Work Is Sacred
Parenting Lucia has been one of the most profound invitations of my life — not to change her, but to meet her exactly where she is.
And in order to do that, I have had to learn how to meet myself too.
Through Special Yoga, breath, rhythm, sound, nervous system education and self-compassion, I’ve come to understand something I now return to every day:
regulation starts with us.
Not perfectly.
Not all the time.
But gently, consistently, and with practice.
And when we begin there, our nervous system can become a bridge back to safety — not only for our children, but for ourselves too.
If this resonates with you — whether you are a parent, carer, teacher or therapist — I’d love to stay connected.
I share practices, reflections, workshops, therapeutic sessions and family wellbeing support through my monthly newsletter.
